So as many of you may have read, or if you know me definitely have heard, I was arrested on friday night and put in jail. While I do feel remorse for my actions, and realize that jail is no laughing matter, several incidents while I was in jail definitely made me laugh my ass off. While sitting in the holding cell in King County Correctional Facility, waiting to get booked I was sitting next to 2 men, apparently of Mexican decent on my right, and a man who appeared to be native on my left. While their race has nothing to do with the story, I feel that painting a vivid picture in the head of my reader is the least I can do. The native man sat silently in a boxing stance with his fists in front of his face, throwing punches at the air, while I talked to the Mexican man about jail. It's funny when you realize that sometimes, people really do go to jail for the first time when they're 30 or 40. The other thing that was funny about the conversation was how often people believe that the same things that occur in prison are happening at their local jail. This 30 something year old man was looking to me, a goofy looking 19 year old to calm his fears. After I told him that he would not be raped, that he didn't have to kick someone's ass the first day, and that he probably would never even see anything other than a group cell he calmed down and our conversation ended. Shortly after, I was booked and taken to a group cell in level 9 of King County. In my cell, was the two Mexicans, the Native guy as well as 13 other unlucky individuals. For the first several hours there was an incredibly awkward silence until the Native guy, who I was sure was an intense and violent person due to his appearance and demeanor when I first encountered him asked me to help him fix the cable on the Television. His exact words were "Hey, hey white kid! You're a tall ass motherfucker and I can't reach the cable, you think you can fix it?" I walked over and fixed it at which time, he told me why he had been arrested. It turns out that the night before my new little buddy had smoked a little too much sherm and had an altercation with several police officers at the 711 in West Seattle. I finally understood why he was acting like such a fucking weirdo, from this point on, since I never learned his real name we'll call him Shermin. I walked past a table and was asked to play cards by a trashy looking white dude. He told me that he was there for possession of cocaine with intent to distribute, bummer. We played cards for a little bit and then I went to bed, as I laid there the fluorescent lights burning through my eyelids I opened my eyes one more time to see Shermin flipping through the stations on the television. When I woke up, everyone in the cell was quiet and content watching Air Bud: Golden Receiver on the television. Now lets think about this. I'm in jail, with a bunch of hardened criminals and I wake up to everyone watching a movie that I thought was wack as fuck when I was nine... What the fuck. For a second I looked around seeing if anyone else thought this was as bizarre as I did when my answer finally came. The one locc ass black dude in our cell, apparently just waking up yelled at the top of his lungs "THE FUCK ARE YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WATCHIN UP IN HERE?" Everyone sat quietly, probably embarrassed at first until Shermin got up and changed the channel, then things went back to normal. For the next several hours I slept and nothing that amazing or out of the ordinary happened to my knowledge. I then was woken up, being told that I had made bail and I needed to pack up my shit. At the same time I was being released a heroin addict from a different cell was also being released. In the property room we were each given what we had in our possession when we entered. Going through my stuff I realized that my pack of cigarettes was not there. Upon asking I was informed that they had been discarded. Going through his stuff, the heroin addict realized that his bottle of liquid methadone was not there. Upon asking, he was handed a separate bag containing his drugs. At this point I said "so wait, I have a pack of cigarettes in my pocket and they get thrown away, and this guy has a bottle of liquid drugs, and you guys save it for him?" Now I expected the dude to get all offended but instead he took my side, agreeing that it was fucked up and didn't make sense. They said to me, "well he needs that" and I said "why?" and they say "because he's addicted to heroine" and I say "I needed those cigarettes, I'm addicted to nicotine" at which time she says "whose fault is that?" and I say "mine, but whose fault is it that he's addicted to fucking heroine?" and she goes, that's different, but I wouldn't expect you to understand. I didn't say anything after that because I was getting out of jail and I really didn't give a fuck, but seriously?
